the death of romance

readers: my sincere apologies for not being detailed. it still pains me


after 5 long years of being a cynic, i tried again.

i recently dated someone because a friend told me that i have to try and find a balance between my personal and my professional life. and so i did.

prior to seeing each other, there were the usual ym chats, facebook chats, sweet exchange of text messages (believe it or not, i saved a copy of everything) we were both in a high. it was like we were both under the influence of ecstasy. (maybe it was just i)

and then we were together. sparks were flying from all directions. i was temporarily blinded.

we sat. stared at each other for a very long time...

(conversation in our heads)

me: where have you been hiding?
him:____________________
me: aren't i lucky that the first person i meet after a very long time falls closest to my standards?
him:_______________________________________________________________
me: X madumi ang room. (pwede ko namang linisin to, magaling naman ako maglinis)
him:_________________________________________________________
me: stop talking to yourself and start talking to him!!!
him:__________________________________

and then we talked.

stories about each other’s life, family, and other stuff were given with ease. we (or i think by now i is more appropriate) did not have to edit anything… everything felt so easy with him…

and then it started.

souls intertwined… memories encapsulated… flicker of happiness

we were wrapped in each other’s arms for a long deafening silence. i knew then that there was something there. the sparks are now coming from us…

i felt so bad that i had to go to work then. but the memories of what happened is enough for me to sustain a 9-hour shift.

we went back to the sweet exchange of messages through sms, ym, and facebook. another date was set. he will go to my house and spend sometime here,

the menu for his visit has been prepared.

Breakfast: corned beef, scrambled eggs and garlic rice
Lunch: adobong liempo and plain rice
Dinner: each other ( oo yun ang plano!!!)

December 26, 2009

(conversations through sms, ym, and facebook)

me: good morning pogi!
him:_____________

after 4 hours

me: gising ka na?
him: ________

after 6 hours

me: pogi?
him:____

this went on for 2 days.

you can see the progression of my emotions clearer through the status updates I have made through facebook.

and then it hit me. he was never going to reply again to the conversations in our heads, the conversations, and the exchange of messages through sms, ym and facebook.

it left me cold.

what happened? was i imagining all these time? is he just a pigment of my imagination? have my craziness transcended into a different level where i can actually create a human being?

there are so many questions.

but the one question that i cannot answer is this…

have romance died?